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Writer's pictureLara Cox

Talk to God, and Other Camps at Burning Man



Talk To God

We stopped at a random old-school phone booth with a sign at the top that said Talk to God. I stepped inside and picked up the phone. A real person answered.

Me: Hello.

Answer: Hello

Me: Is this God?

Answer: Yes, this is God. Do you have a question for me?

Me: Is Heaven real?

Anwer: Of course it is. You're in heaven right now.

Me: You're absolutely right. Not that you needed me to tell you that!


Ginger Appreciation Party

One night the entire group went out together on our bicycles. We started the night at a Ginger Appreciation Party, at which “gingers and people who appreciate gingers” were welcome. I still identify as a redhead, though I'm going blond as I get older. The party was in a long narrow bar with great music and free drinks. (Everything at Burning Man is free, of course. It's a gifting economy. The only thing you can buy is ice.) There was cool furniture and hanging lights and people lounging on bar stools being served drinks by the ginger camp creator. We had a drink and talked to a gentleman with an impressive red beard while my nieces danced. Suitably hydrated, we rode out on the playa to look at art.


Dad Camp

Dad Camp was a huge open tent. At the front there was a cold cereal bar stocked with every kind of cereal, which they served with our choice of various types of milk. Elaine, Whitney, and I sat down in the living room to read a copy of their newspaper, The Daddy Issue, with our bowls of Chex, Cheerios, and Lucky Charms. A woman came up to us while we were eating. "You're grounded for five minutes." she said sternly, "You know why." As she walked away, Whitney said "Aw, Daaad," and she whipped around and said, "And I mean it!" Over at the cereal bar, I heard someone say, "Get off my lawn!" Satiated by carbs, we played a game of pool on the full size pool table and then headed across the street to Bloody Mary's to drink the best Bloody Mary I've ever had in my life.


I'M SORRY

This camp had a large assortment of cool apology cards (all designed by camp members) available in case there was someone in your life you wanted to apologize to. They said they would hand deliver cards to a Burning Man address or mail it for you if you wanted to address it. Or you could just take a card or two with you for later.


ENT Doctor

At the Ear Nose and Throat clinic, we had the choice of water, hydrogen peroxide, or alcohol swabs for our dusty ears and dry noses and were offered a shot of infused vodka from a syringe in our mouths as we exited. Best doctor visit ever.


Karaoke

Singing Mama Mia by Abba with my sister was a highlight. Karaoke is scary, but this was a super easy crowd.


Waffles

Waffles were offered with so many different toppings, including weird ones like pickles and pepperoncinis. At my request, she put maple syrup in the waffle divots (so I could eat it by hand without dripage) and slathered it with an inordinate amount of peanut butter. Delicious.

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